Watch What You Wish For

Gov. Jon Corzine of New Jersey choked back tears at a press conference where he apologized for not wearing his seatbelt. Normally, not wearing one's seat belt isn’t all that emotional but the Gov got caught breaking one of his own laws and needed to make a pitiful display of himself. And so, in honor of the hypocritical Gov, I composed an allegorical poem.



Things got odd the other day,
When the Prez came out to say,
Reasons for a new law were found
It’s now illegal to fall down.

"Yes" he shouted from the stand,
"A proclamation for our land,
No more tripping is allowed,
Not even if your streets not plowed".

"Falling down is now a crime,
And for those that do it all the time,
Penalties will be the price,
And to those that don't, we will be nice".

People stared in shock and fear,
What if they fell upon their rear?
What if their legs and feet did fail,
Would they have to go to jail?

What if they tripped upon a stone,
Or stepped upon an old dog bone,
Or forgot to tie their shoes that day,
And tripped and fell, what would they pay?

What if there was snow on their stairs,
And if they fell, who really cares?
But cops would watch our every move,
A bump, a bruise, a crime would prove.

And if you’re clumsy, I do fear,
You'd be in jail for at least a year,
And if you’re pushed and end up maimed,
Can you tell a cop that you were framed?

What if you’re skiing down a hill,
And then you take a sudden spill,
Would they take you far away,
Off to jail where you would stay?

The stunt men are now out of luck,
They can not fall if they are struck,
They cannot tumble from a horse,
They cannot fall from any force.

Football would be in the past,
Because every play they're on the grass,
And no more sliding in baseball,
You can play, but just don’t fall.

And little babies, how will they learn?
They seem to fall at every turn.
Will they have small baby jails,
For all the kids that walks and fails?

And when the Prez had no more to say,
He said to have a real nice day,
He turned to leave, step from our sight,
But someone forgot to move a light.

He stepped upon the cord and fell,
And everyone began to yell,
"Take him, grab him from the floor,
He broke a law and maybe more!"

What can be said for such a man,
He just won’t stand, we know he can,
"Gravity!" he began to yell,
"That’s what did it, I can tell!"

And as the cops took him away,
He clearly had no more to say,
He took a position, a mighty chance,
And fell right off that lofty stance.

-Sam