Nice...But Does It Come In Pinko?

I love my parents. Not many are blessed the way my siblings and I are to have such good role models and such caring people as our two parents. They have always been there for us and I hope to be able to return the favor as they grow older but my parents are pinkos. This may sound harsh and to those on the left that hate labels, (except when they fit their agendas), they may think I am being cruel; but none of this changes the fact that my parents are pinkos. A pinko is defined in the American Heritage Dictionary as “One who holds moderately leftist political views”. So my parents may actually be extreme pinkos but I will let that one slide. Growing up they didn’t seem like pinkos to me, they seemed kind of politically neutral but they sure ain’t neutral anymore. So what happened? How did this pinkoness get under their skin like a tick, spreading left wing venom and causing a debilitating commie Lyme disease? I think I know.


A few years ago my parents moved to Jupiter Florida, a beautiful place just north of West Palm on the east coast. They both love it there although it gets a little too warm for my mother in the summer. I don’t think there could be a more ideal place to retire with lots of stuff to do and they have a lot of family and friends in the area too. Paradise? Physically yes but there is something strange going on in Jupiter.


I first noticed slight, almost imperceptible changes; nothing to get alarmed about or even concerned. But as time went by, signs began to pop up that were more obvious and in some cases, scary. They began to defend things they never would before to support people on the left. Everyone on the right was becoming increasingly “evil” with greed the driving force behind the “right wing extremist” agenda. All the problems that existed in America and for that matter all around the world were the fault of the right and more importantly Republicans. My parents were becoming left wing zombies. In almost monotone voices I would hear things like; “When Clinton lied, nobody died”, “Bush is a liar”, “the entire world hates America because of Bush”, “Bush stole the election”, “the Supreme Court was paid off by Bush”, “Iraq is Bush’s war” and “Impeach Bush!”. They are normal people in all other aspects of their lives but the mere mention of the word “Bush” will send them into convulsions, foaming at the mouth, spewing obscenities like a Tourettes riddled pirate on crack. They have become creatures of the left, pinkos. Is there an antidote? Perhaps, but first we must find the cause.


In my search for the cause of the mind control that is unarguably occurring in Jupiter, I came across a study by a UCLA political scientist named Tim Groseclose. In his study he wanted to find out if the media was biased towards either the left or right and then see why they leaned in either direction. According to the “UCLA News”;

“These are just a few of the surprising findings from a UCLA-led study, which is believed to be the first successful attempt at objectively quantifying bias in a range of media outlets and ranking them accordingly.
"I suspected that many media outlets would tilt to the left because surveys have shown that reporters tend to vote more Democrat than Republican," said Tim Groseclose, a UCLA political scientist and the study's lead author. "But I was surprised at just how pronounced the distinctions are."

Some people on the left have already stopped reading this. I can hear them now saying (in that same monotone voice) that this is a lie; “Tim Groseclose must be a right wing extremist that works for Bush” but it ain’t true;

“The researchers took numerous steps to safeguard against bias — or the appearance of same — in the work, which took close to three years to complete. They went to great lengths to ensure that as many research assistants supported Democratic candidate Al Gore in the 2000 election as supported President George Bush. They also sought no outside funding, a rarity in scholarly research.” This from the UCLA News article.

I have noticed that the left wing media machine that has brainwashed so many into becoming pinkos has built in a mechanism that makes the zombies of the left immediately shut out anything that is in disagreement with the propaganda that has worked it’s mind altering magic on them. Sudden and undeniable truths that counter the left wing brainwashing may have drastic results. It reminds me of how Austin Powers made the heads of the fembots explode by doing his alternate sexual dance and I don’t want to be responsible for any exploding pinko craniums.

Groseclose went on to say in the study almost all news reporting and news shows were left leaning;

“Of the 20 major media outlets studied, 18 scored left of center, with CBS' "Evening News," The New York Times and the Los Angeles Times ranking second, third and fourth most liberal behind the news pages of The Wall Street Journal.
Only Fox News' "Special Report With Brit Hume" and The Washington Times scored right of the average U.S. voter.
The most centrist outlet proved to be the "NewsHour With Jim Lehrer." CNN's "NewsNight With Aaron Brown" and ABC's "Good Morning America" were a close second and third.”

My parents have been drenched in the radioactive fallout of the left. Like the zombies in “Night of the Living Dead”, they march forth blindly seeking only more left wing news and stories to feed on. Remember what they had to do to stop those zombies? It wasn’t pretty.

“The fourth most centrist outlet was "Special Report With Brit Hume" on Fox News, which often is cited by liberals as an egregious example of a right-wing outlet. While this news program proved to be right of center, the study found ABC's "World News Tonight" and NBC's "Nightly News" to be left of center. All three outlets were approximately equidistant from the center, the report found.” This according to the UCLA study.

Without tying my parents to their easy chairs, duct taping their eyes open and exposing them 24 hours a day to FOX News and Rush Limbaugh for three years straight in an attempt at balance, there is no hope for them.

After ten years of reading the “Palm Beach Post” and watching CNN, my parents have left me politically. I can see that there is no bringing them back, they will march forth toward whatever their pinkoness leads them to. But fear not, other than being able to vote they really can’t do too much harm, besides, they both can still cook and for that alone I can put up with an awful lot.